Ethical Leadership: A Cookie, a Nap and a Glass of Milk?

I have recently embarked on a new and exciting adventure….at the ripe old age of 48, I have returned to school. I am enrolled in an online accelerated program through Clarkson College in pursuit of my Master’s in Healthcare Administration. A new class starts every 6 weeks. Wow, sounds impressive, huh? I’m here to tell you that it is really exciting but has been quitechallenging, to say the least. It has been a struggle trying to juggle working full time, being a single mom and figuring out how to get all the assignments complete. My son will be turning 14 next week (insert a heavy sigh, a shaking head, and a tear in my eye) and he has been extremely supportive of my efforts, which has been a tremendous help. He’s had to make a few sacrifices as well, mostly in the way of having me as available to him. (Well, I’d like to THINK he minds that I’m not around as much!) I often stay at my office well into the evening to work on assignments (at work I don’t have a dog sticking her head in my lap!) which leaves him to have to fend for himself. In all honestly, I know he enjoys that extra independence, but I truly appreciate his efforts and miss being around him. While he doesn’t seem to mind, there is also the element of his being proud of his old mom. I walked in the other night at nearly 10 p.m., after having left the house around 8 a.m. I had spoken to him a couple times throughout the evening and shared with him that this is not an easy task for me. I struggle trying to wrap my brain around all of the concepts of business leadership, knowing what to write about, etc., and I told him that I’d had just had a “mini meltdown” in my office. To be honest, that is the “understatement of the year” thus far. At times I’ve said to myself, “What the hell was I thinking??! You don’t know what you’re doing!!!” Thankfully, these thoughts have been followed by some amazingly lucid moments of clarity… “It will all be worth it in the end. Take a deep breath…one assignment at a time…stop freaking out.” (Thank you to my calm, rational, inner voice…I knew you’d come in handy. While sometimes you annoy me, you usually know best.) When I got home that night, and before my son went to bed, he told me to put down my book and stand up. He gave me the biggest hug and said, “I’m really proud of you, Mom, and this whole grad school thing. You’re doin’ awesome.” Enough said. This isn’t just about me…it’s about my son, too. He’s learning a valuable lesson in all of this as well.

One of my assignments for week #4, was to write about what “ethical leadership” means to us. I began to formulate a basis for my assignment, and as I neared the end, I decided it might make a nice blog entry. I hope you enjoy it!

I think “ethical leadership” is a relatively small term for an extremely involved concept; a concept that will undoubtedly mean different things to different people. When I think of ethical leadership, I immediately think of always just “putting your best foot forward.” I think the basics of ethical leadership can easily be based on concepts learned in Robert Fulghum’s book, “All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.”

Let’s look at just a few of those lessons:

· Share everything- I think the basic idea behind this is that we should look after one another, treat each other with respect, and look to everyone as our equal regardless of our position within an organization. This can mean sharing of our time and talent, our ideas, our enthusiasm for our work and our mission, and just as importantly, sharing encouragement to those around us.

· Play fair– To me this says, “Follow the rules and no cheating.” If you play fair, people will want to continue to play. They will trust you and your actions and perhaps someday seek you out if they are in need, because they know you are trustworthy. On the other hand, if you cheat, they will lose faith and begin to question your motives in your other actions. Having a leader who is fair, will encourage followers to come to that leader with questions, concerns and ideas; you will have created a feeling of respect among those on your team and those around you.

· Put things back where you found them – To me that also shows respect. If you come into a situation as a leader and you are looking for answers, you may uncover a lot of different information. Some of this information might be unpleasant or deal with unethical behaviors. You may unearth some potentially disruptive information. After sorting through all of this information, it is our responsibility to “put things back,” meaning leaving things in better condition that when you found them. I think when a teacher or mom says, “Put that back where you found it,” they would all be pleased if we left things in better condition than we had found it.

· Clean up your own mess– How often in leadership do we have to clean up messes? Sometimes they are our own, but they might also belong to others. I think as a leader, it is important to admit if we’ve“made a mess” and to be honest from the very beginning. As children, did we get into trouble for breaking the lamp or for trying to cover up the mess? As children I’m sure our parents all said,“If you make a mess, it’s okay, just come tell me about it.” We all probably learned the hard way that we would get in moretrouble for trying to cover something up. Would this really be any different as a leader? I don’t think so. We all make mistakes and we all want to do things the right way the first time; it certainly would make life easier. However, we are all human, and we often learn the best lessons from messes we’ve made. We just need to remember to clean them up when we’re done.

· Don't take things that aren't yours – This obviously applies to physical belongings and company property, but just as importantly, can apply to intellectual property. Don’t take ideas from someone else and claim them as your own. That is stealing, plain and simple. We also need to be respectful of others when they are idea-sharing. We should all be open to their thoughts and ideas, and encourage each other to be creative. As a leader, it is imperative that we possess integrity and that we live the truth as we speak it.

· Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody – If you make a mistake, own up to it. A great leader takes responsibility for his/her actions and for the actions of the team. I think a truly great leader is willing to take the blame for their team. A true team works together for the betterment of a project or an outcome, and any shortcomings that may be seen are really a reflection of a team effort. Regardless of whether it was one person or a group of people who may not have been able to successfully complete a task, a good leader will accept responsibility for his/her team without placing blame. Selflessness is a crucial quality in an ethical leader.

· Live a balanced life– Living a balanced life outside of work is often reflected in our careers. If we are a workaholic and are unable to strike that balance between time for ourselves, our families, and our inner peace, then we are not being good role models for our followers.

· Learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work some every day– This definitely goes along with balance. We all need to be in touch with our creative side, the side that is not afraid to think outside the box. Think of the carefree days of childhood where coloring the grass blue felt good, and we chose bluejust because we could. During those untroubled times, we could dance and laugh and play without fear of what others thought about us. We could start with a blank piece of paper and by the end of art class; we could have one of three possible creations. We may have created a painting that had purpose and direction from the very beginning, and we were able to make it look just how we wanted. We could also have a painting that started with purpose and direction, but ended up looking differently than we had planned. Or, we could also have a picture that didn’t necessarily look like anything in particular, we just kept mixing paints together and adding different strokes, but in the end, really didn’t look like anything. However, while we were creating, we learned incredible lessons about ourselves and our materials. Allowing ourselves to be in touch with this part of our being, will allow us to move beyond the day-to-day tasks and look toward new creative and innovative ways of bettering our companies and the communities which surround us.

· Take a nap every afternoon– Let’s just say that one is self-explanatory.

· When you go out into the world, watch for traffic, hold hands, and stick together; be aware of wonder– What a marvelous way of looking at our companies and our communities with a sense of “oneness.” This is about how we all need to look out for one another and support one another. A good servant leader will put the needs of his/her followers ahead of his own, much as a parent will put the needs of their children ahead of their own. A servant leader is concerned with others and helping them find their way in the world. A great leader will promote this sense of oneness by leading through example; showing genuine concern and compassion for those around, whether this is in their personal or professional life.

· Think of what a better world it would be if we all - the whole world - had cookies and milk about 3 o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap – I think this speaks to taking care of yourself and finding those little everyday pleasures in life. This doesn’t have to be taken literally; it could mean finding those little things in our work and relationships that make us feel good inside. Sharing kind words with one another, complimenting those around us on a job well done, or just taking a little break together.

Fulghum, R. (1986). All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. New York: The Random House Publishing Group.